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The Friday Thing: A Long Time Dead

Wednesday April 8 2015
deadThe Friday Thing (TFT) was an email newsletter, published by email from London between 2001-2007. This site, resurrected but no longer maintained/updated, contains many of the articles published by TFT during that time. You can also download the full email archive (below) containing many thousands more. Enjoy!
Download The Complete Friday Thing: The Friday Thing was published between 2001 and 2007. To download every single issue as a single PDF, click below...

Download The Complete Friday Thing (14.93 MB)
loathsome Ask-a-Man: Really Not That Loathsome. Apparently.
A couple of months ago, we wrote a fairly scathing piece about a new online service called Ask-a-man, a business based around the very flimsy idea that women could learn a lot about the men in their lives from other men... Read Online...
isthatarocketinyourpocket... etc A Replacement For Trident: Can Britain Get It Up?
'Come in and sit down, Mr Britain,' the doctor said sympathetically. 'What can I do for you today?' 'Well...' Mr Britain began and proceeded to list his ailments. It's true what they say, the doctor thought as he listened, getting old is a cruel and miserable business... Read Online...
evenmuslimspunishpercy WAWIBF... Indonesian Porn
It's been a tough week for Erwin Arnada, editor-in-chief of the Indonesian imprint of Playboy. The magazine went on sale in the predominantly Muslim country last April, where it immediately began to rub people up the wrong way. And not in a good way... Read Online...
booksforboys Education: Reading Is A Class Issue
Alistair Campbell once criticised the media for being relentlessly cynical about the government. This was an amazing bit of double-think by Campbell, who came up with the 'dodgy dossier', but on a more general level it's often true, with the media putting a negative spin on *anything* the government does... Read Online...

Only In The Full Email Edition: Nothing to Declare; Neologists' Corner; Haiknews; the week's best sites and your letters More...

Politics & Media Archive
Our Brave Boys: Beating A Retreat
Again, on the big issues it is necessary to quote Bill Hicks and for that we make no apology. Speaking about the first Gulf War in 1992, Hicks said, 'I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops'. Yes, Iraq needed to be freed from Saddam. It's just that expecting Tony and George to make a decent fist of it was like asking Jonathan King to run a youth outreach programme. They're all the wrong men for the job...
Read On
More From Politics
The TFT Guide to... 'Blue Peter' Lies
This week 'Blue Peter' was in trouble when it was revealed that a phone-in quiz had been fixed, leading to a ludicrous amount of media attention and apologetic grovelling by the BBC... As is well-known, Petra the 'Blue Peter' dog died after just one appearance and was quietly replaced with another puppy. So what other lies has 'Blue Peter' told us over the years?...
Read On
More From Media
WAWIBF... Slavery
Yesterday a group of well-meaning folk set off on a 400-kilometre walk to mark the 200th anniversary of Britain?s abolition of the Slave Trade Act and to call for former slave-trading nations to apologise for the brutal, inhumane actions of their ancestors. They?re walking from Hull...
Read On
More From Politics
Quick Fix No. 2,236: Community Slavery
...As Gordon Brown inches closer to Downing Street, he?s started coming up with his ?own? policy ideas, many of which are worryingly similar to the quick-fix, media-led initiatives associated with Blair. Brown?s latest idea is to get new immigrants to do voluntary work in the community, something that has no obvious benefit to anyone...
Read On
More From Politics
The Long-Awaited Clampdown on the Vietnamese Boat People
Politicians love a good photo-opportunity, but it?s getting out hand, frankly. Last week Tony Blair arranged a ?gun summit? in Manchester, which was basically a thinly-veiled photo opportunity. Meanwhile David Cameron popped up in Manchester too, on some spurious ?fact finding mission? that also happened to be a photo opportunity...
Read On
More From Politics
WAWIBF... Dealing With Bloggers
22-year-old Abdel Kareem Soliman is an Egyptian blogger. Or rather he was. Not anymore. This week his blogging was brought to a halt. Not because it was inane or self-indulgent like most blogging. But because it was insulting. Like most blogging. Specifically, in his blog Soliman accused Egypt's president, Hosni Mubarak, of being 'a dictator'...
Read On
More From Politics
Brown vs Cameron: It's A Toss Up
Would Gordon Brown pass the 'barbecue test'? Would we, ordinary British voters, invite him round for a burger and a beer? That was the question Guardian columnist Jonathan Freedland asked this week when contemplating the latest opinion polls... The answer to the question is: no, of course we wouldn't. Are you insane? We'd rather watch Torchwood again...
Read On
More From Politics
WAWIBF... Johnny Logan
Older, sadder readers may remember Johnny Logan winning the Eurovision Song Contest in 1980. Younger, sadder readers may remember him winning it in 1987. Well, now Logan is back with a starring role in a couple of McDonald's ads, simultaneously plugging some excrement in a bun and his own bland music...
Read On
More From Politics
Culture, People & World Archive
WAWIBF... Cocaine
Cocaine really does bring out the worst in people. Not only when they've sucked it into their bloodshot heads and turned into ranting egotists, but also when they're trying to sell it to other fools. A couple of stories this week featured people who have so very little brain, they make Winnie the Pooh look like Marvin the Paranoid Android...
Read On
More From Culture and Society
Indiana Jones and the Absolutely, Positively Last Crusade
It was announced this week that filming of the new Indiana Jones movie will start in June. In preparation, 64 year-old Harrison Ford is spending three hours a day in the gym and eating a high protein diet. The poor bastard...
Read On
More From Culture and Society
The TFT Guide To... The Angels of the South
This week plans were floated for statues and monuments to be erected by the main roads into London to celebrate life in our great capital city. It?s been suggested that the monuments could be modelled on the Angel of the North... As yet no decision has been made about what form the ?Angels of the South? should take, so TFT offers some suggestions...
Read On
More From Culture and Society
Britain's Bookworms: Misanthropic and Death-Fixated
Jesus, Britain?s readers are a miserable, bitter bunch. Judging by the ?100 books you can?t live without? as voted for as part of World Book Day yesterday, we like our escapism full of death, grinding misery, war, death, disappointment, disfigurement and death. Take a look at the list...
Read On
More From Culture and Society
D'You Wanna Be In My Gang? (No.)
According to the media, gang culture is taking over the UK. And it's true. Even as we write this, TFT has decided to reform itself as a gang ('Da Friday Boyz') with the intention of taking out our rivals in a series of bungled shootings. Sorry, but that's just the way it is, on da street. And in online publishing. Actually, we're growing deeply weary of 'gang culture'...
Read On
More From Culture and Society
The TFT Guide to... Celebrity Breakdowns
If you're rich and famous, it seems to be compulsory to go a bit bonkers in public. The latest celeb to lose the plot is Britney Spears, who this week went on a tattooing spree and had all her hair shaved off for no apparent reason (possibly nits). But with so many famous people behaving strangely, TFT couldn't help but speculate about who's going to be next...
Read On
More From Culture and Society
The Picture of Doreen Gray
'There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is the seven signs of ageing,' said Andie MacDowell. 'How sad it is!' murmured Doreen Gray with her eyes still fixed upon the 'realistic image' of the John Lewis department store's newly unveiled not-size-zero swimwear model. 'I shall grow old, and horrible, and dreadful...'
Read On
More From Culture and Society
Children: Spare the Rock Painting, Spoil the Child
It's official: the kids are fucked. And not in a good way. This week a UNICEF report revealed that the UK's children are the poorest, fattest, most promiscuous, most pissed, most stoned, most dysfunctional and probably worst at Pictionary of most rich nations. The causes of all this childhood grief are clearly complicated, but...
Read On
More From Culture and Society

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