2001-2008
Home
Main
- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > Culture and Society

Michael, Michael, Michael. You've done it again.

Like flies round a turd (or turds round a fly?) the Scientologists always seem to crop up when celebrity money is sloshing around...

13 November 2003

Whenever you're looking at someone who's involved with some flannel-merchants, the question you have to ask, but often can't answer is: Is this guy a shyster, or is he just nutso?

You may have heard about Michael's charity single, 'What more can I give?'. His old track that wasn't good enough to be a b-side, that's now being asked to try and cure child poverty / illiteracy / malaise?

Well, it's available for download now, featuring contributions from Beyonce, Shakira, Usher, Celine, Gloria and other people who can be identified by a single name. Also Hanson, who it's a shame aren't participating in the forthcoming Marilyn Manson / Shirley 'Garbage' Manson collaboration.

And you're guaranteed that 'a portion of all proceeds' will find its way to some Designated Charities. Like the Mr. Holland's Opus Foundation. And The International Child Art Foundation. And The Church Of Scientology.

Well, not officially. But the official website, http://wwwwhatmorecanigive.com, was registered by a senior parishioner of the Church, and had a link to HELP, an organisation aimed at improving child literacy by encouraging children to read the turgid ramblings of Chief Dead Scientologist L. Ron Hubbard. Michael's people insist that this was all carried out by his employee Valerie B. Whalin without his say-so.

Oops. Clear Channel, who also employ Val, have denied that the single may as well carry a sticker saying '23c from your purchase will go towards efforts to revive L. Ron's corpse using the power of positive Engrams'.

And so the question comes up: shyster or buffoon? This time, though, the answer is a cakewalk. It might help to imagine yourself in the position of a superstar whose ex-wife has suggested that you divorced because you weren't Scientological enough for her. Who knows that people are going to leap on your back every time you do anything slightly smelly.

If you wanted to support the confusing and profitable activities of a hated organisation, what would you do? Would you send them some gold and cheques and Bentleys from your personal fortune? Or would you publicly declare that you were releasing a single to fund one of its subsidiaries, then hastily remove all references to this from your website in a fit of embarrassment?

Sadly, it looks like Michael, as he was in the Bashir interview is not a sneaky villain but just a mentally-ravaged man surrounded by an army of loon-users.

The silly old sod.

http://www.insolitology.com/topten/koostrenite/ri-413rb.htm

http://www.musicforgiving.com/charities.htm



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free


 ABOUT THE FRIDAY THING
Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

READERS WRITE
"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved