2001-2008
Home
Main
- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Commemorating D-Day

It's almost the 60th anniversary of the greatest day in history: D-Day. So how can we best enjoy and commemorate this historic amphibious assault? TFT suggests:

4 June 2004

1) Remember the forgotten heroes of World War 2: the soldiers who never saw action and came back without any decent anecdotes or poems.

2) If you're a bit mentally dull, spend the day making mind-bogglingly inane statements, eg. 'It must have been terrible on the beaches!', 'Susan and I were thinking of buying a holiday home in Normandy' or 'Why didn't they just get rid of Hitler after World War 1?'

3) Take part in the common misconception that if it hadn't been for the Americans joining the war we'd all be speaking German. (We'd still have been speaking English, or English and German, or, quite possibly, Russian.)

4) If you're too young to have fought in World War 2, why not spend the day feeling like a selfish, pampered, cowardly, weak, pathetic, greedy, self-indulgent, amoral, feckless, self-centred little shit? That's the subtext, anyway.

5) Remember that as far back as 1939, the well-being of the Jews was paramount for everyone in the world who fought against Nazi Germany.

6) If you're a Daily Mail reader, fondly remember a time when you could leave your front door unlocked. There wasn't much point in locking it after the Luftwaffe had blown all the walls off.

7) Remember that in 1944, people fought in the war because they decided it was the right thing to do, not because political events beyond their control (caused in part by imperial rivalries and the botched armistice settlement of 1918) meant you had to fight or go to prison.

8.) If you're a member of the text generation, spend the entire day trying to send illiterate text messages to the BBC saying things like 'dday ws wickd!!! caz xxx', 'i h8 hitler luk @ his hair!!! kris xxx' and 'ww2 rokcs!!! noel xxx.'

9) Show your respect for the war generation by holding a World War 2 theme party. Offer your guests powdered egg vol-au-vents and Spam canapes. (After this it's OK to get out the real food.)

10) If you're a making a TV programme about World War 2, always use the words 'German' and 'Nazi' interchangeably, eg. 'Lancaster bombers and Flying Fortresses razed the Nazi cities of Cologne and Dresden.'



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free


 ABOUT THE FRIDAY THING
Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

READERS WRITE
"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved