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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Violent computer games

This week the parents of a teenager who killed another boy said he was mimicking a bloodthirsty computer game called Manhunt. So what should we do about violent computer games?

30 July 2004

1) Encourage your children only to emulate parentally sanctioned computer games: Sonic Tidies His Room, Tony Hawks' Extreme GCSE Revision, and Horace Goes To Get His Ludicrous Piercings Removed.

2) If you're an unstable teenager and think you're likely to kill someone, make sure your bedroom is littered with games like MegArmageddon DeathKill IV, Night of Gouging, and Sadistico: Teenage Skull Driller Blood Beast. You won't have much of a defence in court if all you've been playing is 'Frak!' (Unless you kill your victims with a giant yo-yo.)

3) If you work in the video game industry, take a long hard look at your products in the light of the recent tragedy. Realise that controversy equals publicity and repackage 'The Care Bears' Big Adventure In Balloon Land' as 'Nightmare in the Valley of the Kodiak Flesh Eaters'.

4) If you're a Sky News journalist, why not completely obscure any worthwhile debate with studio guests by passing off your fuckwitted opinions as fact, eg. 'It's obvious that playing computer games is a far more intense psychological experience than watching a film and therefore playing games like Elite will
unquestionably turn your child into an intergalactic mineral trader.'

5) If you're a retailer, withdraw the game Manhunter as a token gesture to avoid bad publicity from the ill-informed media. However, continue to stock socially responsible videos like Jim Davidson's Racist Moron Fest, Roy Chubby Brown's Misogynist Half-Jokes and dozens of ultra-soft porn titles like Booty Party Brain

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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