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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... raising the legal smoking age

Four out of five people want the legal smoking age to be raised from 16 to 18, according to a poll by the BBC designed to generate a bit of cheap controversy, sorry, stimulate debate. But what other age restrictions could be changed to benefit the UK?

10 September 2004

1) Legal age for drinking scrapped in favour of 'continental-style' drinking. Youngsters are encouraged to remain half-pissed throughout childhood instead of binge drinking when they're 18.

2) On Britain's council estates, age at which people start having sex to be raised to 12.

3) Drivers to be required to be above the mental age of 10, thus avoiding dickheads screeching around at 70mph listening to crap dance music in a 'maxed-up' white Ford Fiesta with a ridiculously huge whalefin rear spoiler that makes them look as though they're driving around in Moby Dick.

4) Legal age for riding a moped to be increased to 65. Pensioners frequently say they are too old to get embarrassed any more, and so will have no problem riding about on what appears to be a child's bicycle powered by a bee in a biscuit tin.

5) Legal age for taking part in witless opinion polls to be raised to 120 to stop the BBC commissioning any more pointless polls asking leading questions noone could disagree with, such as 'Do you think the government should try to prevent terrorism?'



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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