- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Unpaid Working

This week the TUC highlighted the problem of unpaid working, which benefits employers to the tune of 23 billion every year. The TUC says unpaid overtime means that, in effect, the average worker takes until 25 February to start earning money for themselves, and suggests that British workers should celebrate by taking a proper lunch break this very day and maybe even having a pint with colleagues.

This is obviously something we cannot condone, because it's this sort of Bolshie rabble-rousing that led to the storming of the Winter Palace, but what can we do about the problem of unpaid working?

28 February 2005

1) If you're forced to work unpaid overtime, get one over on your employer by performing every task in a careless, slipshod manner. NOTE: This may not be such a good idea if you're an air traffic controller, heart surgeon or captain of a Trident submarine.

2) End the exploitation of unpaid working by offloading all your own work onto nervous junior employees. (If they're recent graduates you may wish to point out that anyone who defaults on their student loan is entirely likely to end up in prison. With an anus likely a badly thrown pot.)

3) Avoid the problem of having to keep working late by not spending five hours a day concocting impossibly unlikely sexual fantasies about attractive co-workers, eg. that someone who looks like Liz Hurley and is engaged to a handsome, sporty, posho City whizz-kid is somehow going to want dirty sex in a dreary open-plan office with a dumpy little data-inputting wonk like you.

4) Get a job that can surely involve no more than five minutes work a day, eg. writing scripts for The Fucking Friday Night Project.

5) Make sure you know where you stand at work by asking your employer to give you, in writing, a detailed break-down of your responsibilities. Then have a minor coronary as you discover it doesn't include 'chatting, drinking coffee and forwarding video clips of a monkey pissing in its own mouth'.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free

Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved