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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Unpaid Working

This week the TUC highlighted the problem of unpaid working, which benefits employers to the tune of 23 billion every year. The TUC says unpaid overtime means that, in effect, the average worker takes until 25 February to start earning money for themselves, and suggests that British workers should celebrate by taking a proper lunch break this very day and maybe even having a pint with colleagues.

This is obviously something we cannot condone, because it's this sort of Bolshie rabble-rousing that led to the storming of the Winter Palace, but what can we do about the problem of unpaid working?

28 February 2005

1) If you're forced to work unpaid overtime, get one over on your employer by performing every task in a careless, slipshod manner. NOTE: This may not be such a good idea if you're an air traffic controller, heart surgeon or captain of a Trident submarine.


2) End the exploitation of unpaid working by offloading all your own work onto nervous junior employees. (If they're recent graduates you may wish to point out that anyone who defaults on their student loan is entirely likely to end up in prison. With an anus likely a badly thrown pot.)


3) Avoid the problem of having to keep working late by not spending five hours a day concocting impossibly unlikely sexual fantasies about attractive co-workers, eg. that someone who looks like Liz Hurley and is engaged to a handsome, sporty, posho City whizz-kid is somehow going to want dirty sex in a dreary open-plan office with a dumpy little data-inputting wonk like you.


4) Get a job that can surely involve no more than five minutes work a day, eg. writing scripts for The Fucking Friday Night Project.


5) Make sure you know where you stand at work by asking your employer to give you, in writing, a detailed break-down of your responsibilities. Then have a minor coronary as you discover it doesn't include 'chatting, drinking coffee and forwarding video clips of a monkey pissing in its own mouth'.



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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