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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To The His And Hers Settings

BBC News online recently reported on a new trend: manufacturers are designing 'his and hers' settings into their goods: a toaster with two setting dials, double duvets with different thicknesses for each side of the bed, and, cleverly, a clock radio with two alarm settings so that you don't have to fumble about resetting the alarm if your partner gets up earlier than you. But what other things would benefit from 'his and hers' settings?

20 April 2005

1) Cinema screens that allow you to sit with your partner yet watch different films, so that while SHE'S laughing along to Two Weeks Notice, HE'S watching people's heads explode in a fountain of blood, brains and bone fragments in Black Hawk Down.


2) A shower with 'his and hers' settings:

- For her: actual cleanliness

- For him: just enough cleansing to stop you smelling like a wet dog on a hot day

3) Central heating with male and female settings. Set to 'hers', it maintains a steady, economical temperature. Set to 'his', it immediately whacks the temperature up to maximum and keeps it there, allowing you to leave the windows open and walk around in just your boxer shorts in December.

4) On your PC, personalised internet settings. When SHE logs on, the computer reminds her that there are probably better things to do than endlessly trawl hundreds of inane websites full of trivia, filth and rubbish. When HE logs on, the computer immediately directs him to autopsy pictures, inconsequential football supporters' web pages full of mindless 'debate' about Dwight Yorke's failings, and 'hilarious' smut, eg. a badly animated Olive Oyl giving Popeye a blow job.

5) A George Foreman 'lean, mean grilling machine' with two setting dials. Hers ranges from 'well done' to 'slightly more well done'. His ranges from 'barely cooked' to 'macho bloodbath'.



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