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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... The poor old middle classes

This week it was announced that people earning over 37,000 - 13 per cent of the working population - are paying more than half the total income tax for the whole nation. In other words, anyone on a half-decent income is subbing the chavs and povs. Meanwhile the middle classes face the cost of paying for private education, falling real incomes, stealth taxes and falling property prices. Oh dear. Can things get any worse? TFT speculates...

29 June 2005

1) Gordon Brown introduces a punitive 98 per cent tax on ponies.

2) In the light of falling listener figures, Gary Bushell oversees a complete revamp of Radio 4. New shows to include:

  • Woman's Hour with Michelle Marsh, Lucy Pinder, Abi Titmuss and Caprice.

  • A season devoted to the music of one of our greatest composers: Ian Stuart of Skrewdriver.

  • The Archers to include new 'rights for whites' storyline.

3) The supermarket chain Iceland announces that it is buying Waitrose. Typical middle class dinner party menu now includes Birdseye potato waffles ('They're waffley versatile'), turkey shapes and Arctic Roll.

4) The government gives working class pupils the same head start in life as middle class pupils by giving them a few abortive piano lessons that never really lead to anything.

5) The definition of 'middle class' is changed so that sales reps can claim they're middle class, when in fact they're still working class, just with a better car. The actual middle classes are now forced to hold dinner parties at which the topics of conversation include: Arsenal's chances on Saturday; why people
don't want to work these days; why Thatcher was the greatest leader we've had since Churchill.



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