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Home > Culture and Society

Week of the Week: National Poop Scoop Week

3 July 2005

Owning a dog brings responsibility. You must for example, train Patches not to rend other creatures limb from limb, not to rend the post leaf from leaf, and you should not under any circumstances force him to wear a faux-leopardskin poncho. Perhaps most importantly you have to hold your breath, say to hell with dignity and pick up his poopie in public. National Poop Scoop Week aims to hand a scented nappy-sack of awareness to the last dog owners who have failed to grasp that this is the polite and community-spirited thing to do.

The Dogs Trust site lists a bunch of slebs who are proud to scoop their pooches’ poop – Billie ‘Poop’ Piper, Jude’n’Sienna, Sara Cox et al. Of course this is the obvious way to appeal to Heat-reading dog-owners who spend their cash on Louis Vuitton knock-off tail-bangles before flea treatment, but you have to wonder if they’ll be disappointed by the ultimate lack of glamour in the mundane act of digital shit-shovelling. To really bring in the last dim stragglers – those who occupy the bottom rung of society along with people who drop litter, spit on the pavement and go into restaurants with their vests off – the organisers of Poop Scoop Week may have to lay on a little more glitz. Expect to see diamante-studded scoops, 50% off subscriptions to Hello! with every box of 100 poop-sacks and brown wristbands declaring ‘Make Poop History’. Perhaps the odd article in Marie Claire pointing out the benefits of poop-scoop wrist-employment to one’s hand-job technique. If all else fails, they could plaster poop-bins with photos of ex-Big Brother housemates: ‘Kinga says, “Dog dirt blinds babies and plays havoc with your heels!”.’ That’d do the trick. Celebrity-sponsored awareness. You can’t beat it with a shitty stick.

Next week (if we remember): Alzheimer’s Awareness Week.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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