- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > Culture and Society

Taking a Chill Pill

21 January 2006

'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' is a very funny and adorable and touching film about medically erasing painful memories of Jim Carrey. Would that we all had access to such a miraculous panacea. But of course, just like human cloning, time travel and Page 3 slideshow corneal implants, this is another ridiculous-sounding thing that is bound to come to pass in our lifetime. This week it was reported that scientists are working on a 'trauma pill' to lessen the impact of intense and terrible memories. A fine and altruistic goal, but spare a thought for the rabbits they're testing it on who have been forced to read that 'Bunny Suicides' book until they experience the requisite total breakdown.

The need for some sort of tincture to alleviate the horrors of post-traumatic stress disorder is pretty pressing; since it became recognised as a genuine psychiatric ailment and the large number of sufferers became known, science has been floundering somewhat in the face of a giant morass of crippling misery. Propranolol, a type of beta blocker, may be the key to halting PTSD before it can bed into the brain after a traumatic event, and tests are yielding positive results. It's hoped that it will be of some help to war veterans, although they can't be given the drug when still in the field as it blunts the fight-and-flight survival responses. It seems a bit much to hope that the young men whose minds are even now being mangled by the unending gruesomeness of Iraq will receive a dose when they've still got to buy their body armour from eBay, but at least some sort of solution is available.

A cure for PTSD is a genuinely awesome concept that would truly benefit mankind. The only downside is likely to be that US doctors will stop prescribing ADD medication for all and sundry, and start dishing out PTSD pills willy-nilly instead. However, that might even out; Americans will gradually stop suing TV networks for the emotional distress caused by glimpsing Janet Jackson's nipple, and get their fucking priorities in order. Which can only be good for the world at large. But when they've dealt with the big problems that blight our lives, we'll be impatiently queueing for the pills that will eradicate the little niggling annoyances that plague us like nits on Phil Spector.


1) A pill that automatically blocks the sound of Pete Doherty. Or Bono.

2) A capsule that gives you back the five hours you spent reading 'The Da Vinci Code'.

3) A soluble tablet that reacts with alcohol, making it impossible for you to phone your ex when drunk and sob loudly down the phone.

4) A pill that puts up shelves.

5) A really big suppository to keep Tom Cruise quiet for five minutes. The big bender.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free

Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved