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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Online Milkmen

31 March 2006

This week it was revealed that that the milk delivery industry is in crisis. For some bizarre reason people are not ordering milk from their local milkman, instead simply buying milk from the nearest shop, the fucking fools. As a result, milkmen have decided to start selling their wares online. TFT explains what a cyber-pinto will involve...

....


1) Delivery notes left for milkmen now read: '3 pnts + sm ov yr yogert lol ; )'


2) Popular image of milkmen as gigolos to housewives exposed as a myth. Milkmen found to be compulsively wanking over Internet porn instead.


3) Latest download version of Grand Theft Auto to include the option of carrying out drive-by shootings whilst travelling at 3mph in a milk float.


4) Milkmen compete with other useless online businesses by delivering Monday's milk on Friday to a completely different house, at a time slightly before any normal person has finished work, e.g. 5.10pm.


5) Problems arise when the domain name www.milkonline.com is found to be already owned by sick sick sick pornographers specialising in grown men 'cream showering' beneath cud-hungry lactating cattle.



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