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Home > Culture and Society

WAWIBF... Chris Evans

12 June 2006

What a smashing week it's been for the hitherto godforsaken people of Chennai in India. For it was this week that 'Sport Relief Goes All Out For India', featuring the good peasants of Chennai and special guest, perennial TV stool, Chris Evans, was beamed into living rooms right across the known BBC world. Foraging for sustenance in mountains of human waste must have been a touch less unbearable for at least an hour or so this week. Or at least for the ones who haven't died since the film was made. In a two-page for-a-good-cause puff piece in The Sun, Evans wrote the story of these desperate, hand-to-mouth slum-dwellers himself. 'My tears,' the piece was entitled, 'for the kids forced to scavenge in rubbish to survive'. It was an emotional piece, and to be fair, not solely focussed upon Chris Evans' tears. Which were legion. Indeed, accompanying the text were four colour frames of him in the process of weeping. Just in case there were those who had their doubts. One peasant onlooker was moved by Chris Evans' tears, but felt in a way that he'd seen it all before. 'We had Russell Grant here last year,' he said. 'Nothing changed.' Chris is unfazed. Like some giant off-colour turd that just won't be flushed away, he stands proud out of the toilet bowl water, weeping slightly but defiant: 'You'll never take away my right to care,' he sobs. 'Or my hawk-like business acumen.'

All of which begs the question, if a peasant falls in a rubbish heap and there isn't a celebrity present to weep over the corpse, does it actually exist? And the answer has got to be, no. Not really. The story then is 'Chris Evans weeps at tragedy', because without Chris Evans, there's no tragedy. And that's true on so many levels. Which is something of a tragedy in itself. A tragedy wrapped in a disgrace. But still. At least someone's off their arse and doing something. Not just sitting around picking fault, contributing nought but a rather hollow fart of wilful cynicism.

So do give all you can. Let's see if together we can't save some lives *and* get these blubbing celebrities off our TV screens once and for all.

Or else just pick fault. It's fun!

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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