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Home > Culture and Society

WAWIBF... Hot Cockles

16 June 2006

If we were 12-year-old Jake Oliver, we would invest in a BlackBerry and a fake Rolex, and we would hang around dodgy areas and flaunt them. Jake was in the news this week following his enviable dispatching of a would-be mugger in a balaclava. The mugger came from nowhere and demanded the boy's mobile. When it wasn't forthcoming, the mugger took a swing at the boy. Sadly for the mugger, the boy is a karate champion. He sidestepped the swing and broke the mugger's nose with the flat of his hand. Jake's mum is proud but says Jake really should have handed over the phone. Don't listen to her, Jake. Get yourself a BlackBerry and a fake Rolex and hang around some dodgy areas, flaunting them. Reel them in, lay them out.

This week's second heartwarmer is the tale of Dennis Wiltshire, who, according to his friend Julie Brinkworth, 'was 80 but looked and acted much younger'. Dennis had accompanied Julie to the Makro supermarket in Swansea to buy a trolleyful of catfood. Dennis took control of the trolley, but like any kid, couldn't stop himself riding it up and down the aisles and shouting 'wheeeeeeee!'. As Julie paid for the catfood, Dennis took the trolley out to the car park. 'Wheeeeeee!' he shouted. 'Wheeeeee!' When the trolley span out of control and hit the ground, Dennis went with it. It was caught on CCTV, the trolley bouncing into Dennis' face, the back of his head smacking into the concrete, his skull fracturing. 'It was the type of thing he would do,' Julie told the inquest this week. 'He was just like a schoolboy, always full of life and fun... always joking, singing and doing dances.'

For us, the saddest part of this beautiful horrible story lies in a detail reported in icWales.co.uk, which was that as Mr Wiltshire lay bleeding but conscious in the Makro car park, he 'asked for his hat'.

It's a terribly sad world.

Go get 'em, Jake.

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