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Home > Culture and Society

WAWIBF... God

16 June 2006

God showed His true colours this week when He was called upon to save one of His flock, and was, frankly speaking, found wanting. A wacky 45-year-old Ukrainian man was at a loose end and so decided to put God to the test. Instead of shaking his fist and demanding a sign the way the rest of us might, this as yet unidentified buffoon lowered himself into the lion's cage in Kiev Zoo and waited for God to save him. He even 'acted aggressively' toward the four lions, as if to further provoke God into swift action.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, God chose not to rise to this demand, which was, in His books, tantamount to emotional blackmail. And so He gave a perfunctory shrug and returned to the aimless tweaking of His right nipple. And lo, his precious creation was torn to many tender tasty pieces by four of his other creations, all of them surrounded by more still, spellbound, recording the whole thing on video camera and mobile telephone. And God did gaze down upon this scene, slightly aroused it must be observed, and He smiled, feeling really rather pleased with Himself.

If there is a lesson here then, it is surely this: don't test God's faith in you. He has none.

God hates you.

Amen.



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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