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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Improving School Dinners

8 September 2006

This week the government finally took steps to improve school dinners, putting healthier food on the menu and earmarking an extra 240 million for better ingredients, extra cookery lessons and better training for school cooks (although whether they'll ever accept that quiche *isn't* meant to resemble watery scrambled egg remains to be seen). So what will the changes mean?

....


1) Healthier cooking methods introduced: Turkey Twizzlers are now served lightly poached with a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil.

2) Unhealthy lunchtime meals like burger and chips are replaced with healthy ones like baked mackerel, new potatoes and a green leaf salad. Unfortunately, the result is that kids' *actual* lunches are now three packets of M&Ms, two packets of cheese and onion crisps and a 15p bag of jelly snakes.

3) Funding is finally made available to train school kitchen staff to the standards specified by Jamie Oliver. School meal service now falls apart as dinner ladies spend most of their working day on their mobile phones, wrangling with building contractors as they try to set up their own restaurants, and having angst-ridden conversations with their partners.

4) Extra cookery lessons are given to pupils to ensure they maintain healthy eating habits throughout their lives. In 2031 there is a massive public health crisis as it is revealed that 60 per cent of the population has been exclusively living off pineapple upside-down cake for the last 25 years.

5) After proving that it is only prepared to act after pressure from TV celebrities, the government finally pulls British troops out of Iraq following criticism from Richard and Judy.



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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