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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide to... The Singleton Market

1 October 2006

This week the papers reported that supermarkets are set to sell products specifically aimed at single people. These will include smaller versions of traditional products, such as three-quarter sized tins cans of baked beans and loaves of bread with as few as four slices. It sounds like bollocks to us, unless millions of single people have no idea what a fridge is, much less a freezer, but we couldn’t help but wonder what other products and services might suit our sizeable single population?

....

1) Extra-large boxes of tissues, for tears of loneliness. That and wanking.

2) New range of microwaveable ready meals designed to replicate 'can’t-be-arsed, whatever’s-in-the-fridge’ style of singleton cooking:


- Baked beans in a bowl with half a tin of tuna


- Cheese on toast with oven chips


- Leftover takeaway rice with fried egg and a sausage


3) Mothercare to appeal to childless single women with a set of baby clothes designed to fit cats.

4) Thomson Holidays to offer Rent-a-Relative weekend breaks for single people who miss socialising with a partner’s family. For just £275, you can spend an entire weekend in the middle of nowhere with a crowd of bores, weirdoes, social misfits and inbreds.

5) Ann Summers’ chocolate body paint to be made available in a single serving.



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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