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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide To... Global Warming

3 November 2006

This week the government said it would push for a new international agreement on climate change after a report by Treasury economist Sir Nicholas Stern reiterated the need to cut carbon emissions. But what should you be doing to help save the planet? TFT advises...

....

1) Avoid buying products with excessive amounts of packaging. Stop buying those individually-wrapped hundreds and thousands.

2) Avoid the effects of climate change by convincing yourself that neither climate change nor the hole in the ozone layer exist. (A similar technique can be used to cancel out any personal debts, i.e., simply ignoring red bills, final demands and CCJs until one day, hopefully, they just go away.)

3) Avoid the effects of global warming by repeating, every night in the pub, the following 'joke': 'I don't care about global warming - we could do with some nice weather!' On approximately the 20th repetition fellow drinkers will finally snap and beat you to death with bar stools, glasses and ashtrays, thus preventing you (or your children, or your children's children) living with the environmental consequences of global warming.

4) Try and reduce the amount of air travel you do. And why not? You can have just as much fun in a chav-infested, lager-and-slot-machines hellhole in North Wales as you can in a chav-infested, lager-and-slot-machines hellhole in Torremolinos.

5) Remember - taking just one empty wine bottle to the recycling bin will cancel out the environmental impact of China's unchecked carbon emissions. Take two. Save the world.



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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