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Home > Culture and Society

The TFT Guide to... Celebrity Breakdowns

23 February 2007

If you're rich and famous, it seems to be compulsory to go a bit bonkers in public. The latest celeb to lose the plot is Britney Spears, who this week went on a tattooing spree and had all her hair shaved off for no apparent reason (possibly nits). But with so many famous people behaving strangely, TFT couldn't help but speculate about who's going to be next, and what form their lunacy might take...


1) Questions are raised about Kirk Douglas's state of mind when he dangles his son Michael from a third-floor hotel window to show him off to a crowd of fans.

2) Richard Branson shocks the world when he announces plans to build a real-life Jurassic Park, with real dinosaurs and everything. However, after initially thinking the millionaire tycoon has lost his marbles, everyone soon realises it isn't much more implausible than any of this other projects, such as plans for passenger flights into space, offering 25 million for a solution to global warming and making Virgin trains operate a service that isn't complete shit.

3) Tom Cruise makes another appearance on 'Oprah' in which he whoops, hollers, jumps on the furniture and generally makes a tit of himself. Scientologist Cruise later denies that he's mad as a cat, and says it was just his Thetans playing up.

4) Mick Hucknall is committed to a secure psychiatric unit when he claims it's his looks that make him attractive to women.

5) Jamie Oliver is arrested and taken into custody after viciously pleasuring himself in front of a live audience whilst screaming the words, 'I'll show you how to make a Barrymore Pie, ya bastards.'

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