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Home > Culture and Society

WAWIBF... Cocaine

16 March 2007

Cocaine really does bring out the worst in people. Not only when they've sucked it into their bloodshot heads and turned into ranting egotists, but also when they're trying to sell it to other fools. A couple of stories this week featured people who have so very little brain, they make Winnie the Pooh look like Marvin the Paranoid Android.

First up, a woman in the United States who called a number her son had given her, a number to be used 'if she ever needed anything'. She needed coke. So she rang the number and said so. Unfortunately the number was for the a local police officer. Silly, silly, silly woman. The police officer, thinking on his feet, agreed to meet her, then sold her some cocaine, then arrested her. Then took his cocaine back. And sucked it into his bloodshot head.

Then there was the young man, also in the United States, who advertised his cocaine on Craigslist in New York. He promised cocaine to any woman who would give him sexual favours. Which is a common ruse amongst drug dealers. Yet again, a police officer, thinking on her feet, arranged to meet the young man to swap fluid for powder, and the foolish young scamp was arrested.

What an incredible arse. Of course, most people who want to sell drugs on the Internet have intelligence enough to use one of the commonly accepted code words. Just in case you have a bunch of drugs that you'd like to unload but you're not au fait with the parlance, allow us to fill you in:

crack = Whitney
skunk = Pepe le Pew
pills = crown Jowells
cocaine = babyporn
crystal meth = semtex
heroin = al qaeda training videos

Good luck!

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