- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > Etc

"Just look at the picture and think what you like."

According to physicists, the fibre of the world grows stronger the more we hate. Hatred is what binds Oxygen to Hydrogen to form water, and what binds Iron to Urine to form Tizer. Without hatred, matter would relax and disintegrate. So do your bit to save the universe, and start hating Sara Lucas. Immediately.

by Charlie Skelton

26 July 2003

Shortlisted in the Trafalgar Square empty plinth competition:

SARAH LUCAS, 41, Goldsmiths College, London. The one-time bad girl of Brit Art is fond of visual puns.

I hate Sarah Lucas a very great deal. But hating Sarah Lucas is a tricky business. It is, for example, much more difficult to express hatred for Sarah Lucas than it is to express hatred for, say, Paul Weller. If I say "I hate Paul Weller" the possible responses are "yes, so do I" or "well, I quite like the Jam, but I can see where you're coming from." However, if I say "I hate Sarah Lucas" I open myself up to the accusation that I am somehow being "provoked" by her work. My hatred, in a sense, legitimises her art. Which is frankly infuriating.

The safer response is to say that I find her work "disappointing" or "lacking intellectual rigour" - but I feel constrained by these terms. I want to feel free to point and yell without somehow playing into her hands. I need to be free to hate. And my hatred must be pure, uncompromised and absolute. Let there be no limit to my rancor. I only have to think of her name and the hatred rises within me like the vast fartings of dyspeptic whale - I open my mouth to say those dirty words - "Sarah Lucas" - and out guffs my disgust. A rusty blast of animosity, as wide as the air.

Do not dare stretch your arms to embrace my hatred, Miss Lucas. Dare not meet it with smugness and a nod. You might as well try and wrap your arms around the universe.

So, what is it that I hate about Sarah Lucas? Well, I hate her hands. I hate her feet. I hate everything she stands for, I hate her as a person, I despise her art, her mind, her eyes, her hair, her stupid little fried egg boob things, the photos of her crouched on a loo, the film she made of Sebastian Horsely sort of crucifying himself, I hate her place in the world of art, the respect she is given, her friends, her fags, her teachers, her mum, her dad, any pets she has ever had, her shoes, the person standing behind her in the queue for the cashpoint, her memories of Scotland, her hopes, her dreams, her next project, her last project, everything she has ever said or done, her teeth, her funny little habits, her favourite paint brush, her favourite Beatles song, her urine, her pants, everyone who has ever kissed her or touched her without malice, I hate her knees, her lips, her bowels, her extended family, the people who serve her in shops, the gravel that crunches under her feet, the sugar in her tea, everything she touches, everything she believes in, I hate her voice, her bum, her brain, her fridge, her fingers, her spit and her food.

And if I can't do this one simple thing without someone turning round and saying "mmm, yes, I think you feel this way because her work incites something deep within you that you're not altogether comfortable with" then I just don't know. Something has gone very wrong with the world.

What am I saying? Something has already gone very wrong with the world. Sarah Lucas has been shortlisted to fill the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square.

I think I hate her.

i hate you i hate you i hate you.jpg

"Just look at the picture and think what you like."

Okay. Will do.


hello i am a 13 year old girl and i dont think it is very nice to hate sarah lucas as this clearly talented artist has the same name as me. i find your website highly offensive to me and the wonderful sarah lucas the artist. i would like to be an artist too one day and i am dissapointed to see such criticizing people around.'

- Sarah Lucas (via email)

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free

Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved