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Home > Film

Robin Ince's Top 30,000 Films Of All Time

#29,988 - #29,987

20 June 2003

In the afternoon of July 7th 2001, Louis Niebur cleared his throat and delivered his seminal lecture 'It's a Sin: the Pet Shop Boys, the Closet and the Creation of a Deliberately Ambiguous Sonic Space.' Sadly, on account of work commitments, I missed it, but I hear that it was excellent. Particularly the middle bit where he talked about cocks. Not enough academic work is based upon the Pet Shop Boys. If I was Home Secretary for a day, I would change that.

This leads me to consider the 29,988th best film of all time.

#29,988: It Couldn't Happen Here

The Pet Shop Boys' big screen feature length debut is marked by a homicidal appearance from Joss Ackland, his eyes almost popping from the intensity of the performance and the confusion that he had said yes to the project. Also watch out for Neil Dickson who played Biggles in the movie of the same name and Gareth Hunt.

A trawl through mythical England, this is one of those films that you just can't believe will be as boring as people say and will actually have a novelty value that will carry it all the way through, but it doesn't. Why didn't Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe make a Likely Lads movie? That said, please can we have more vanity movie projects for pop stars.

#29,987: Marijuana with Sonny Bono

An educational film made for the American School's system and hosted by tremendously cool hippie Sonny Bono (who turned out to be a Republican breadhead man who pretended to hippify himself for capitalist rewards). We see some cool teens enjoying some marijuana joints, but uh oh, 'the man' is outside the door, and it is 'the man' as represented by the pigs. As the teens are dragged out by the pigs they scream their message into the camera, some say "hey man, it's not as bad as alcohol," others declare "it's not addictive," whilst the wisest ones say "I didn't do anything" and will - under the violent police custody they go to - soon say how it was all Bob's idea and how he's the dealer.

Bob will get life and they'll go back to school or join the Manson gang depending on their mood. Sonny doesn't preach, he tells the truth, hey brother, drink or drugs, you gotta take care. The finest moment is when we see what happens to a man who smokes too much: next thing you know, his paranoid delusions lead to him seeing his face reflected in a mirror as if he were wearing a Halloween mask of an old man - the horror of it all.


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