this. Is it just us, or can you actually feel time slowing down while you watch this? In fairness, there are far worse examples of charity nonsense, but this little clip epitomises the enforced fun occurring at workplaces up and down the country in the name of Comic Relief: 'We all sang Club Tropicana and Brian videoed it! It was *completely mad!*' "> Comic Relief: The Horror, the Horror...
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Home > Free To Access

Comic Relief: The Horror, the Horror...

16 March 2007

It's hard to know what to hate more about Comic Relief: the nauseating celebrity backslapping, or the kooky-and-krazy fundraising efforts by members of the public, which frequently make you want to claw your eyes out with embarrassment. Things like this.

Is it just us, or can you actually feel time slowing down while you watch this? In fairness, there are far worse examples of charity nonsense, but this little clip epitomises the enforced fun occurring at workplaces up and down the country in the name of Comic Relief: 'We all sang Club Tropicana and Brian videoed it! It was *completely mad!*'

However, the true horror of Comic Relief takes place on the telly. Just look at this carnival of cunts.

'Spare him his life from this monstrosity!' Our thoughts exactly. (Although we can safely assume Craig Charles won't be appearing tonight. Or John Leslie. Or Paula Yates. Or Jill Dando.)

So, if you're planning to stay in this evening, we sincerely recommend a trip to your local off licence, or, better still, your local heroin dealer, to dull the pain of this orgy of celebrity self-love, smugness and lame comedy. The celebs may change, but they'll still be honking and hooting like idiots at how hilarious they all are. Russell Brand in ladies' underwear? It doesn't get much funnier than that! (Mind you, we *did* try nailing our testes to a plank of wood this afternoon and that was pretty funny too.)

Comic Relief also has the curious effect of unnaturally prolonging the careers of people who would otherwise have disappeared from TV long ago, e.g., Lenny Henry. Speaking of whom, let's not forget those other stalwarts of Comic Relief,
French & Saunders. Here's a reminder of their general level of hilarity.

French & Saunders neatly sum up what's wrong with Comic Relief, and much TV output in general. The problem is basically that the BBC believes some performers can do no wrong. Thus, all you need to do is get French & Saunders to arse about with half a script (if that) and it will automatically make good TV. This misguided idea seems rather prevalent at the BBC: don't make a real programme with real ideas, just let Dawn French ramble on to Julie Walters and film it. Or get Jenny Eclair to regurgitate some clichés about teenagers/art galleries/woks. Or maybe Graham Norton could get out a novelty dildo and embarrass one of his guests? Any of these ideas is bound to be *hilarious* - just like Comic Relief!

Honk!



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