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Home > Media

Would someone please hurry up and kill Rebekah Wade?

There were three in the bed and the little one said: I fucking hate The Sun.

29 August 2003

Ooh-la-la. The Sun is a fucking disgrace and the sooner someone throws a spear into Rebekah Wadeís face, the better. And all the so-called journalists who jizz their pointless muck onto its pages. The lot of them. Enough is enough. They should all be killed. Really. Bill Hicks was right.

If you passed by a newsagents this week, or sat in front of commercial television, you will no doubt have noticed that it was Three-in-a-bed Week in the sizzling Sun. The reason for this sexclusive was, as always, money. But they can't just say,"We're upping the pornographic content by 300% this week because we want your cash." Because that would be honest. Instead, they made up some crap about threesomania sweeping the nation, about how the postbags of Britainís top agony aunt are stuffed to orgasm with problems from troubled couples whoíve bitten off more than they can chew by turning the fantasy into reality.

And so, on with the porn. Here's an extract, from Martin, Sarah and Laura's story. "We closed the curtains, lit a few candles, put on some Barry White music [for fuck's sake] and lay there stroking, feeling and exploring each other... It was a real turn on seeing him making love to Laura and how she responded, begging him for more. Then she wanted oral sex with me and as I lay on my back, Martin was having intercourse with her..." And so on. Which would be fine if it was in a rather tired porn mag, and it's ideal if you fancy a wank into an oily cloth in the back of your Transit, but doesnít the Sun still call itself a newspaper?

Yes, it does. And it claims to have investigative journalists, such as Sophie Sturt and Sharon Hendry, who, as part of Threesome Week, placed a bogus ad in Loot asking for men to fuck them.

Then they met, interviewed, secretly photographed and humiliated some of the men that responded. Which has to be undercover investigative journalism at itís absolute worst. The men had done nothing illegal and in many cases were not even betraying a partner, but the Sun chose to humiliate them anyway. They should sue. We should all sue. Then we should take up our spears and march on Murdoch House with cold-blooded murder in our hearts.

Itís all any of them deserve.


More Tabloid Culture of Corruption:

www.thecomet.net/archived/2003/wk35_2003/news/asp/03jounalist.asp

More threesomes (not porn, just bullshit):

www.easythreesomes.com



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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