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Home > Media

Advertjism: Wanadoo

7 May 2004

Freeserve is becoming Wanadoo. Wanadoo. Who the fuck thought of that? It's a play on the phrase 'wanna do', made even more illiterate for the 'cool stuff!' generation. Well, if what you 'wanna do' is download child porn and Star Trek trivia, it's reasonably descriptive. But you can't help but wonder why they didn't just stick with Freeserve, which at least doesn't sound like some rubbish kids' TV programme.

Equally unfathomable are the TV and press adverts. Freeserve, we're told, is undergoing changes, symbolised by a diverse bunch of hippies being gradually docked of their long hair and Hendrix-style garb. They've traded their psychedelic peace bus for a limo, and further changes seem likely as the series of adverts unfolds.

The overriding question is: why? Freeserve isn't in any way associated with 1960s hippies. Having a Freeserve account doesn't make you a freethinking, free-living child of the revolution. The internet wasn't even invented in 1968. Freeserve users do not believe in free love and not bogarting the doobie, man.

It's as random and ill-informed as saying that all women who wear boots are Nazi sympathisers.

It's often been speculated that ad agencies are full of pretentious idiots whose overriding confidence in their own creative 'vision' cons clients into believing that their ideas are actually any good. We can't help but wonder if this is what's taken place with the Wanadoo campaign. If so, what other incredibly strange ad campaigns can we expect?

- Ronseal to be rebranded as the wood sealant for the UK garage generation. Asher D to become new 'face of Ronseal', in a series of ghetto fabulous adverts that claims 'Ronseal is bling bling/ If waterproofing wood's your ting.'

- MacDonalds rebranded as four-star restaurant for the wealthy bon viveur. Raymond Blanc's' called in to redesign the menu, which will now include the McTruffled Guineafowl Burger, the McBreakfast Pancetta'n'Quails Eggs Sandwich, and the McRoast Swan with Edible Gold Leaf McFries. MacDonalds executives are puzzled when profits plummet, but refuse to accept that it might be due to the fact that the cheapest thing on the menu is 45.00 (McBeluga Caviar.)

- Anusol to get new 'sporty' image.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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