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Home > Media

WAWIBF... Michael J Tito

16 April 2004

If you have heard of Michael J Tito, you certainly hadn't heard of him last week; and if he approached you in the street, there was little chance you'd recognise him. Jennifer Lopez however, is and was a different kettle of fish. If J-Lo danced up to you in the street, you'd know it was her. Maybe you'd fall at her feet; maybe you'd head-butt her. Either way, you'd know who she was.

This is because Lopez has what is known in showbiz as "a famous face". And Tito, for all his qualities, did not. But boy, did he want one. He must have been thanking his lucky stares then, when MTV came up with the perfect reality show for people with low self-esteem. They called it "I Want A Famous Face".

Oddly perhaps, the famous face on which Tito had set his heart on was indeed that of J-Lo. He explained: "She's beautiful. I like her arse because it is big. She looks sexy and slutty - and that's how I want to dress." Sadly, the programme does not live up to the promise of its no-nonsense title. Instead of Lopez pinned to the parquetry and facially scalped, it focuses on desperate, tasteless pre-operative transsexual Tito, and his voyage of unself-discovery; the nonsense and pointless torture of endless hormone injections, flubber implants, enlargements, reductions, bone-sculpting, hairline reassignments and on and on.

But it was worth it. Thanks to MTV, Michael J Tito is now living his dream. After being mocked and pitied in endless newspaper articles this week, now when he approaches people in the street, they recognise him. "It's that freak off MTV," they say. "One who thinks he's J-Lo." And as Tito smiles, his plastic cheeks inch higher than they probably should up his famous face. And he is happy. Michael J Tito is 23.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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