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Home > Media

The TFT Guide To... BBC Cutbacks

This week it was announced that the BBC will try to save 100 million to balance its books - and avert any further nastiness from the government about that pesky licence fee. So how will Auntie Beeb* do it?

9 July 2004

1) Worthy BBC programmes like Question Time and See Hear to be replaced with programmes like 'Ibiza Animal Porn Uncut'.

2) Entire cast of Eastenders to be sold to UN for human mine clearance in Bosnia.

3) BBC4 to become more commercial. Then BBC4 executives realise they have 5,000 per cent more purchasing power than Sky One, so buy it and replace The Simpsons with 'An Evening of Difficult Mahler'.

4) Reithian motto 'educate, inform and entertain' to be replaced with arsehole salesman motto 'ABC: Always Be Closing'.

5) Cast of The Mighty Boosh to be sold for body parts - like in Gerry Anderson's UFO.

...

*Ref: Wogan, T: How To Be A Twee Cunt.



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