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Home > Media

Journojism: All the Eyeties, They Speak-a Like Theeeeeeeeeeees

2 September 2005

Who is Nancy Dell’Olio? We all know who she is, but not much about her, except as an appendage to red-blooded ice man Sven Goran Eriksson. This is slightly, but not very, unfair.

In fact, Nancy is a qualified property lawyer, at one point running her own business specialising in high-end property deals. She’s got an impressively international education under her (Gucci) belt (New York University, University of Rome), and was even credited by fans as having contributed to the success some football club or other.

Nancy has always moved in rather exciting (or at least wealthy) social circles, which is how she met Sven, and apparently turned up at one party in a jaw dropping cavewoman outfit. She’s stuck with her faintly OTT sartorial style, and also her high-profile socialising, which these days includes attending 10 Downing Street parties. Nancy is also a woman of mystery - at least when it comes to her age. For many years she claimed to be 37, although her real age is estimated to be somewhere around 45.

Despite all this it’s hard to be particularly interested in Nancy. She is, really, just another celeb who looks good in a bikini, and is obviously smart enough to play the publicity game without being dragged into demeaning ‘HEARTBTOKEN NANCY REVEALS ALL!’-type nonsense. In short, she’s really not all that interesting (unless you’ve got a fetish for 45-year-old property lawyers).

This hasn’t stopped her turning into something a Daily Mail pin up. Maybe, much as porn films often feature ugly blokes having sex with attractive women, in order to delude ugly male viewers that it could be them, Nancy is more attainable in the imaginations of male Daily Mail readers than, say, Keira Knightley.

Whatever the case may be, the Mail is distinctly disloyal to lovely Nancy. Take a two-page picture special this week, which was basically crap Photoshopped photos of Nancy on the spare plinth in Trafalgar Square, with Lord Lucan, with Tony Blair, etc. accompanied by a fairly racist and deeply unfunny caption.

For example: Nancy with Tony Blair holding a guitar:

‘I like a man who’s gotta beeg instrument! When Toni’s fingers start-a flying in Barbados, my heart-a-pound with excitement anna my knees-a go weak.’

This is repeated 10 fucking times.

Nancy Dell’Olio isn’t the person most deserving of our sympathy, but since whenna didda alla the Italianas speaka like dissa? Do they actually walk around saying ‘Take home a Gino Ginello ice cream-o?’

All the time, according to the unfunny cunt who actually wrote this, one David Thomas.

Laugh? No we didn’t. But we did call the Commission for Racial Equality.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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