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Home > Media

WAWIBF... Chris Moyles

26 May 2006

There were concerns this week when oily heap of pointless, braying excrement Chris Moyles failed to show up for work on Monday morning. Moyles was due to galumph into the Radio 1 studio at 7am and, very much in the manner of a spoilt and overbearing infant who's been told and who clearly believes that he is special, bray pointlessly at full volume, to the delight of doltish schoolchildren and vacuous office workers alike. But he wasn't there. The pre-breakfast show presenters heroically did an extra-long stint and Moyles' sidekick, 'Comedy' Dave soldiered on without 'Meningitis' Moyles at the helm. 'We have tried ringing home - nothing,' explained Dave, sounding genuinely concerned. On Tuesday however, it was revealed that Moyles' disappearance was nothing more than a rather non-elaborate hoax. Or - as it was actually described - 'a joke'. A Radio 1 spokesman said, 'It was a bit of fun with the audience. Everybody involved knew he wasn't coming in. Chris had the day off.' Many of the audience refused to buy the gag however, and suspected that 630,000-a-year Moyles had merely taken the day off with a hangover. Certainly a possibility, seeing how Moyles *is* an enormous cunt. Even the Metro couldn't resist suggesting so, when on Tuesday, next to a large headshot of an open-mouthed Moyles, mid-bray, they ran the 'disappearance' story with the headline, 'A stupid stunt?' Subtle.

If it was really 'a joke', it was a pretty poor one. About as zany as Moyles convincing listeners live on air that he's drinking a cup of tea when in reality he's actually drinking coffee. Zany. The sad thing is, it probably *was* a joke. Or else they were just covering up the fact that Moyles was up all night on some hideous non-stop braying paedo booze bender. Either way: cunt.

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