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Home > Media

The TFT Guide to... Being a Blue Peter Presenter

2 July 2006

This week 'Blue Peter' recruited its latest presenter, Andy Akinwolere. But it's a daunting prospect to step into the shoes of such titans of children's TV as Valerie Singleton, John Noakes, Peter Purves, Sarah Greene, Janet Ellis and the one off 'Seaview' who hangs around with that Scouse twat who thinks he can talk to ghosts. So what does it take to become one of the greats of 'Blue Peter' presenting?

....

1) The best 'Blue Peter' presenters are responsible for some sort of risqué gaffe, e.g., Simon Groom presenting an item on door knockers and saying 'What a beautiful pair of knockers'. Thus, on visiting a project to restore steam locomotives and seeing a rimmed train wheel, be sure to blurt out 'What a smashing bit of flange!'

2) 'Blue Peter' presenters are often called upon to do things that require nerves of steel, if not actual foolhardiness. Why not try interviewing a wheelchair-bound man with the severest form of cerebral palsy and a chronic speech impediment on live television?

3) It is traditional for 'Blue Peter' presenters to have a) a murky past, such as Peter Duncan's appearances in porn films, and b) an embarrassing episode with an animal, as with John Noakes and Lulu the shitting elephant. Kill two birds with one stone by having once starred in 'Animal Farm 7: Coprophiliac Chimpanzee Cum Fest'.

4) Bear in mind that from time to time 'Blue Peter' producers take leave of their senses and film a frighteningly inappropriate segment, e.g. the time the show featured Maggie Philbin, Tina Heath, Isla St Clair, Sarah Greene and her jailbait daughter wearing historical underwear to illustrate an item about ladies' lingerie down the years, thus spawning God-knows-what sexual fantasies in millions of 10-year-old boys. If you're female, fully expect to be required to hop into a Raquel Welch-style furry bikini to present a piece about how the dinosaurs became extinct.

5) Be aware that 'Blue Peter' is constantly having to adapt to the changing interests of youngsters. As a presenter you should be as at home making a model of Tracey Island from toilet roll tubes and sticky-backed plastic as you are converting a replica pistol to fire live .22 ammunition.



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