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Home > Media


27 October 2006

The last couple of weeks have seen a welcome return to the salacious showbiz world of celebrity murder as - according to The National Enquirer - OJ Simpson is about to cash in, again, on the most pooh-poohed acquittal in murder trial history. The supermarket tabloid claimed last week that Simpson was to be paid $3.5 million for a book entitled 'If I Did It'. The book would describe, fully, frankly, graphically and incredibly tastelessly, how OJ Simpson might have killed his wife Nicole and Ronald Goldman... *if* he had actually done it. Essentially - 'If I did it, I would have done it like this.' It's a strange idea. You can't imagine Gerry Conlon writing 'We Did It: A Terrorist's Fable', or Michael Jackson writing 'If I Really Were a Dirty Old Boy-buggering Bastard'. Well... Jackson might. He's a wild card.

But this week Simpson firmly denied that there is any truth in the story. He swore to it. Or at least his lawyer did. Yale Galanter told The New York Daily News, 'He is not writing a book. We haven't been paid 35 cents, much less $3.5 million. If anyone comes out with such a book, I'll go on every talk show and call it crap.' That would be so cool. If OJ *did* write this book and his lawyer *did* go on every talk show and call it crap. That'd be ace.

Sadly, OJ didn't kill anyone. No, really. And he isn't writing a book about how he might have done if he had. TFT can reveal exclusively however that he is writing a book called 'If I Did Write a Book Called "If I Did It"'.

And it's crap.

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