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Home > Media

The TFT Guide to... 'Blue Peter' Lies

16 March 2007

This week 'Blue Peter' was in trouble when it was revealed that a phone-in quiz had been fixed, leading to a ludicrous amount of media attention and apologetic grovelling by the BBC. Ludicrous because 'Blue Peter' attempted to cover up a technical glitch, not systematically separate old people and their pensions, like 'The Mint' or 'Quizmania'. However, it's not the first time 'Blue Peter' has misled its viewers. As is well-known, Petra the 'Blue Peter' dog died after just one appearance and was quietly replaced with another puppy. So what other lies has 'Blue Peter' told us over the years?


1) Goldie, the imaginatively-named 'Blue Peter' golden retriever, did not die of natural causes after 'retiring' to Simon Groom's parents' farm. She was actually kicked to death by Groom during one of his frequent crack cocaine binges.

2) The proceeds of all the 'Blue Peter' appeals never went to their intended recipients, such as the Cambodians or Riding for the Disabled. Instead they were paid into a secret Swiss bank account owned by Biddy Baxter. When investigated by Interpol in 1989, the account was found to contain £231 million in milk bottle tops.

3) Rather than think of a new Christmas decoration for children to make, 'Blue Peter' has ruthlessly suppressed the fact that its coat hangers-and-tinsel 'Advent Crowns' are responsible for 96 per cent of household fires.

4) From the very beginning, 'Blue Peter' was in the pay of the toy industry, which dictated that any homemade toys should be a depressing travesty of the commercially available versions. The most successful was Blue Peter's version of Tracy Island, which consisted of a Swan Vestas box, a squeezy bottle and some pipe cleaners, and instantly reduced any child to disappointed tears, necessitating a trip to Toy & Hobby.

5) Contrary to popular belief, Janet Ellis did not leave 'Blue Peter' because she was pregnant and unmarried. She left to conceal the true identity of the father, Mr Noseybonk.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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