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Home > Music

Disrespectful To Dirt: September Number Ones

Alan Connor's Music Extravaganza brings you another quiz.

4 September 2002

If you haven't been to the music section of the boards for a while, then
try and find the time.

One question which needs more feedback is: why is it that Duran Duran's lyrics sound as if they were once real lyrics, but were ploughed through an auto-translator one time too many? Is is David Bowie's fault? Was it a calculated attempt give them EuroAppeal? Or is Le Bon just a stinker of a lyricist?

And if you've been missing our quizzes where we disguise lyrics using one of those autotranslators (an enterprise we call Disrespectful to Dirt), here are some more.

As usual, all are number one hits from the start of some September or other.

(1) For this first one, I've chosen my two favourite verses for brevity and challenge. It came to the composer in his sleep, like "Yesterday" did for Macca. And like "Yesterday", it came as pure music, and any old words were stuck on. Macca, we know, started out with "Scrambled eggs / Oh my baby, how I love your legs"; for this song, they ended up using the filler phrase, even though, the guitarist tells us, "the words I'd written for that riff could just as well have been Auntie Millie's Caught Her Left Tit in the Mangle."

If I lead, in my motor vehicle,
Humans arrive on the radio.
Regarding unnecessary information,
To place the fire at my fancy.
I not cannot receive, not not, not.

If I look at my TV, and a man advance
And say to me -
The space bar can be my shirts,
But it cannot be a man.
Since does not smoke cigarettes like me.
I not cannot receive, not not, not.

(2) The second lyric was not a September Number One in its original form, but in a cover version for charity. The charity was so big, they got Bob Clearmountain to mix it.

If you think maybe you don't know Clearmountain, think again. The sound of Bryan Adams's career is Bob Clearmountain. He mixes and produces other acts, sure (Crowded House, Deacon Blue, Huey Lewis, The News, 'Vonda Shepard Sings New Songs from Ally McBeal' and, of course,'The world of Morrissey'), predominantly with that Adamsy vibe. Think '80s. Think clean. Think punchy. You got it.

We do it in necessity,
All with music and sweetness and fortune-music.
And, from that place, or with the enemy,
It vibrates to music.
Where it shakes and and and
And plays inside the pathway,
Bravery recording which it does.
What you wear, five highs five, it is not important.
With your thing together for a long time.
It comes like this above, each man lying with the girl.
Or, with enemy in surroundings, of the world.
From that place bravery will be.
Their bravery is doing inside the pathway.

(3) Like the previous song, this one is a cover version which is familiar enough that the only Babelfish action which made it much of a challenge was the simple English -> Korean and back again switcheroo. If the Korean version was only half as bad as this, Babelfish really oughta take it off the site anyway.

And saws it with the back is small - in small quantity.
It are the frontage for the young trillion golds consultation.
Destroys it is small and behind the high piece, in small quantity.
The burden moves under this flag, it is small - in small quantity.
It attaches its young tile in the roof, in small quantity.
The umbrella makes it small, in small quantity.
The concrete young, the wool lays in the small quantity.
Mr. Bounce he is young, in the small quantity,
The male with which the architecture industry sleeps.


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