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Home > Music

Just The Gist: War Special Edition

ACME's patented Just The Gist format lends itself to all manner of themes. This week, thoughts are of war.

12 March 2003

This war round, it may not just be the usual peacenik ditties that disappear from our radios. With the Capitol spending its own time and its citizens' money making sure nobody associates the French with anything fun, we can expect to hear Debbie Harry and Lil' Louis only in bowdlerised form: Freedom Kissing In The USA; Freedom Kiss, and so on. While we still can, then, this week's Just The Gist presents summaries of five songs with a war theme. Title and artist, please.

1. Talk is of a revitalised workplace, due to an impending war. Some are happy at the increased spending opportunities this offers; others demur and are punished. Keyphrase: next of kin.

2. After a scrape, a young man joins the army and fights Asians of some description. On return, he finds that his industrial job is no longer available, and muses on his dead brother and his birthplace. Keyphrase: cool rockin' Daddy.

3. A man declares that there is no worth whatsoever in war, then immediately contradicts himself by mentioning a direct beneficiary. Keyword: disabled.

4. Disconcerted by bizarre atmospheric conditions and universal ownership of incendiary devices, a young man resolves to celebrate life by dancing and fucking. Keyword: lion.

5. An irascible non-combatant recalls his soldier father's optical injury, and extends the analogy to cover an attack on his homeland, which he then likens to both a caged dog and an airborne eagle. He threatens vengeance on an unnamed enemy. Keyphrase: boot in your ass.

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