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Home > Music

Busted

The man who sang Heart To Heart Talk with Bobbie Gentry has been having a 'heart to heart talk' of his own with the Arizona police...

29 November 2003

On Tuesday, the following words appeared on the homepage of Glen Campbell's website: "Yesterday I was arrested and put in jail. Even at my age, I learned a valuable lesson, I apologize to my wife, my family, my friends and my fans." A reference to Campbell's recent arrest for driving drunk, and subsequent charges for assaulting a police officer and singing Rhinestone Cowboy in his holding cell.

According to Foxnews.com:

"While being processed at a police precinct on those charges, police said Campbell -- minutes away from being released to waiting friends and family -- became angry and kneed Sgt. Bill Niles in the thigh."

Now there are three potential reactions to this story. The first is a smiling admiration for the old man. He's still raising hell after all these years. Bless him. It's only a pity he missed Sgt. Niles' balls. The second is a rather self-righteous condemnation - that he should be learning lessons at 67 that most of us learned before we hit puberty is not something to be overly proud of. The third is a bewildered 'Who the fuck is Glen Campbell?'

If you are of the third way, then shame on your filthy ignorant mouth. Glen Campbell is the biggest country star the world as ever known. Like a clean-shaven Kenny Rogers, but with the added ingredient of musical talent, Campbell played guitar for *everyone* - Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Phil Spector, The Beach Boys, The Sex Pistols. He sang the best damn version of Anarchy in the UK you've never heard. He was in True Grit for Christís sake. But what makes Campbell so marvellously legendary is how he managed to maintain a lifelong fanatical dedication to Jesus Christ, whilst at the same time nurturing an equally fervent dedication to whiskey and cocaine. It is said that during nightly Bible readings, he would snort a line of coke for every line of the good book he read. That's one unreadable fucking book. One journalist wrote, "The miracle is that Campbell didn't die in agony, crawling around on the bathroom floor. With a crucifix in his ass."

Well, there's still time. If his behaviour this week was anything to go by, Campbell hasn't learned a fucking thing about life. Forty million records, four wives and at last count eight children down the line and he's still a terrified little man taking infantile refuge in his booze and his Lord. The gnarled old sot even believes in the Bible Codes.


More Bible Codes:

www.bible-codes.org

More Gnarled Old Sot:

www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/campbellmug1.html



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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