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Home > People

Sit him down and give him a cup of tea

"Jasmine flowers make a calming and sedative infusion, taken to relieve tension."

- SpiritCommunity.com

18 July 2003

Gilbert Walker had been drinking up to ten cups of jasmine tea per day. He was hoping the tea would help settle an upset stomach, but instead it sent him on a desperate dagger-wielding rampage. He should sue. He probably will. This is an American tale.

Itís an odd story really, on one hand the simple tale of a man driven mad by herbal tea, on the other a biblical struggle between good and evil featuring talking pot dogs, a brass duck thrown through a glass door darkly, and a large knife, one likes to think with a jagged edge. So there's Gilbert Walker, at home, coming up on his tea, when his ceramic dogs start putting ideas in his head. Fuck knows what they were saying, but it was most probably something along the lines of 'Grab yourself a knife and kill your next-door neighbour. She is the devil'.

For ten minutes later, police found him wild-eyed and bladed-up on his neighbour's front lawn. 'I'm crazy', he told them. 'No', they told him. 'Yes, I am', he insisted, waving his crazy knife.

But no. So determined were the authorities to let this loon go free that the court appointed a total of three psychologists to attest to some cock-and-bull story about 'certain jasmines' having hallucinogenic qualities. Arse. The man should be cast into a pit with Bruno and left to rot.

(Poor old Bruno, we all love him really. We just wouldn't want to be the ones trying to get him to put his pyjamas on and lie down in darkened room for a few weeks).


More care in the community:

www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/yarnovitz1.html

More tea:

www.stashtea.com/ydwwtea.htm



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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