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Home > People

WAWIBF... Yang Qunying

14 May 2004

Ananova, the online news service, used to be great. Now, sadly, it's garbage. No search facility, no serious news stories more than a day old. Hardly worth bothering with at all. Except of course, for the quirkies. Ananova still do a fine line in quirkies. For example, no other website outside of China this week covered the plight of 50-year-old Yang Qunying. Which means that only Ananova was able to run with the breaking news and potentially life-altering headline, 'Rat's urine no good for breasts'.

This is the story of a native of Bishan County near Southwest China's Chongqing Municipality who drank the freshly-procured urine of one female rat, hoping that there was some truth in the old Chinese wives' tale that rat's piss nourishes the kidneys and thus increases sexual appetite. However, instead of making her randy, the urine merely made her breasts swell up and gave her a nasty case of cyclomastopathy. She was later admitted to hospital with breathing difficulties.

But, oddly, this is not some mad old woman who suddenly decided that sucking a rat's bladder might stop her fanny shrivelling up. On the contrary, this is the same Yang Qunying who in 1998 published a thesis for Missouri's Truman State University entitled, 'Morphometric analysis of coronary capillary-to-fiber geometry in diabetic rats'. This is a woman then, who knows her rodents. We can assume therefore, that when she crept into her pigsty and set a trap, and when she persuaded her captive rat to urinate into a bowl, and then later when she knocked back the amber nectar, that she had good reason to suspect that she'd be out shagging again before sun-up. But no. Turns out she was a mad old woman after all. As everyone knows, it's a catshit enema that makes you horny.

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