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Home > People

Donald Rumsfeld: Turn that frown upside down

9 April 2004

It must be great being Donald Rumsfeld. This week, in a lengthy, fractious press conference, he said that the recent violence in Iraq - which killed nearly three dozen Americans in a matter of days - was caused by a few 'thugs, gangs and terrorists'.

'You have a small number of terrorists and militias coupled with some protests,' said the creepy one, as US troops found themselves fighting on two fronts, attack helicopters blew up a mosque, Iraqi militiamen threatened to burn Japanese hostages alive and another helicopter was brought down by small arms fire.

You have to admire Rumsfeld for his ability to play down a situation that is, quite obviously, a major league fuck up. What stands out is his breezy air of arrogance. This is a man who once took part in the following exchange:


Reporter: Mr Secretary, what do you think of the situation in
Georgia?

Rumsfeld: Who else had their hand up?


With his don't-give-a-fuck style and unpleasant, devious grin, Rumsfeld may as well just have 'I am evil' written on his forehead. But life must be so straightforward for Rummie, who simply interprets situations to suit his own view...


'My wife has left me, but I regard this as the positive outcome we were looking for. Am I unhappy? Yes, I am very happy.'


'Yes, I have just crashed my car into a wall, but this will incentivise me to prevent subsequent automotive non-wall-avoidance situations.'


'Cancer? Fantastic!'



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