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Home > People

WAWIBF... Titmuss

26 June 2004

It seems that the journey of Abi Titmuss - from would-be rapist's mousy moll to full-fledged tabloid whore - is now complete. Images of her sucking John Leslie's peter as Jayson Blade's girlfriend laps at her clam are the talk of the Internet. The general consensus seems to be that despite Leslie having the directorial flair of Stevie Wonder, Titmuss knocks spots off Paris Hilton.

This week she gave what the Sunday Mirror described as her 'most shocking interview yet'. But it wasn't particularly shocking. In fact, once you've seen a woman having her arse licked and going to work with a ribbed dildo, there is little she can tell a family newspaper that will be of any interest at all. For example, "I'm not like those glamour girls who say 'I'm really dirty, I'm really bad', then just pose around. I really am dirty AND bad - I just love sex." No you don't, Abi, we've seen the video. You just look bored.

Of course it was never Titmuss' intention to have her sexploits splashed over the web. She is not after all a porn star. She is a nurse. A nurse who does a bit of work for a porn channel once in a while. But that's not the same thing. There is a large aching difference between celebrity whoring and having sex for money.

And furthermore, Titmuss is hurt and bewildered that her fanny is now public property. 'It's been a shock to find someone has obviously stolen it or whatever,' she told the Mirror. 'Who did that to me - who made the pictures public?' We don't know. But it was obviously John Leslie. Only joking. It was *probably* John Leslie. Almost certainly. The perv.

Incidentally, Titmuss claims that the only thing she is actually ashamed of is taking cocaine. She says that the media coverage of her taking coke was the thing that 'most broke' her teacher- parents' hearts. More so even than her responding to cameraman Leslie's probing questions with the words: 'She's licking my arse. She's got her finger in my arse. It's very good. It's very naughty.' What a hussy. Her father should bend her over his knee and spank her to within an inch of her own talk show.

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