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Home > People

An open letter to Paula Radcliffe

27 August 2004

Dear Paula,

We, the English nation, feel your pain and disappointment almost as acutely as you do. But the fact remains, you have brought shame on yourself and us.

It is important to keep a sense of perspective about sporting events. But, by not being the best runner, you have negated not only the concept of 'perspective', but also honour and morality. If you had even the slightest sense of decency, there would only be one word on your mind: suicide.

You claim to be 'devastated' after running 26km before being overwhelmed by fatigue and despair. But what is your suffering compared with the suffering of the loyal viewers who crowded round their television sets eating their tea? Some of these fans may even have missed a favourite programme, such as Coronation Street, or Heartbeat, to watch your shameful display of self-

Frankly, it makes us sick.

You weep, Paula, and we weep with you. But we do not weep FOR you. We weep tears of frustration because we can't string you from the nearest lamppost, after beating you with flails made from barbed wire.

That would be a proportionate, nay, lenient, response.

You say you are 'sorry for letting everyone down'. But these are just empty words. We're all sorry, Paula, but only you can remove the stain from your soul by killing yourself, or at the very least allowing yourself to be bricked up in your own home. Here you shall remain for the rest of your pitiable life, subsisting on rotten vegetables pushed through the letterbox by misguided fools who wrongly believe you deserve their kindness.

You are a black-hearted demon.

Public repentance is all very well. But your repentance has a hollow ring to it, like the repentance of Ian Brady. Will saying 'sorry' bring back Keith Bennett and Leslie Ann Downey?

No. No it won't, any more than your 'apologies' will bring back that potential gold medal.

It's time to grow up, Paula. But, more importantly, it's time to die.

You know what you have to do.

May you rot in Hell.

Yours sincerely,

The British Nation and Media.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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