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Home > People

King Hell

5 April 2005

Jonathan King is a law unto himself. Excepting perhaps a few of history's top drawer totalitarians, no other public figure has exhibited such indomitable narcissism in the face of such widespread loathing. Jonathan King is one of the most hated 'personalities' in the country. And yet his self-love is legendary. He's like Kilroy-Silk multiplied by Clarkson to the power of Bono.

In many ways perhaps, King is less like a law unto himself, and more like a religion unto himself. He displays all the blissful blind fervour and unswerving fanaticism of any Fundamentalist. One imagines - one hopes, for King's own sake, that somewhere deep down inside the pit of his grimy soul, he must know how despised he is, and he must understand why. One prays that beyond the bluff and bluster of his sick-bag self-publicising, King must surely hate himself as much as everyone else does. It seems not. On the contrary, King comes across as someone who not only has no problems sleeping at night, but most probably sleeps like a chocolate log, snug as a bug in his Entertainment USA duvet cover, hugging a Piglets-cased pillow to his chest, gurning his twisted, deluded face off at the moon.

He was released on Wednesday then, after serving less than half of his seven-year sentence, and the first thing he did was to give a prepared speech to the Press and distribute copies of his new single. Like Gary Glitter before him, but somehow, astonishingly, with far less integrity. At least Glitter expressed regret for his actions, and soon after the PR abortion of his Regent's Park release-day photoshoot, at least he had the good grace or good sense or whatever the hell it was to go to ground, albeit ground in child-rape-Mecca Cambodia, which doesn't really bear thinking about. King on the other hand bounded out of prison like a cocker Spaniel that had been cuffed to a radiator in Libya for three years. A sloppy grin all over his face, Fonzie thumbs a'flying, he genuinely seemed to expect nothing but goodwill. Maybe even three cheers.

In his speech, not only did King compare himself to Oscar Wilde and Michelangelo, he also said this, by way of explaining why the teenage boys he abused were actually willing partners: 'I was famous. I was extremely handsome. I was stunningly talented in every possible way - and that makes me very attractive.' Baffling. Completely baffling. If this performance were not on film, no-one would believe King had really spoken those words. Child abuse is one thing, but to be so utterly divorced from reality, so freakishly wrong, is just baffling. That King is hideously, outrageously disturbed has never been clearer than it is this week. If we lived in an ideal world, we'd be able to fix him. Oh, well.

Having said all that, do take the time to have a listen to his new single.

It's horrible.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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