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Home > People

The TFT Guide To... Showbiz infidelity

‘Hey Jude - don’t make it bad.’

Some people just won’t listen, will they? This week it was revealed that Jude Law slept with his nanny, or at least his child’s nanny, causing boho-chic babe Sienna Miller to call off their wedding - or as one paper reported it, ‘explode with rage’, presumably leaving just a smouldering pair of Ugg boots. But if you’re a celebrity, what can you do to avoid being a victim of infidelity?

24 July 2005

1) If you’re a celebrity, don’t go out with good-looking partners who will inevitably be tempted by attractive, available admirers. Or to put it another way: Sienna, give Rik Waller a call NOW.

2) If you’re a washed-up, perma-tanned ex-Spice Girl who claims, erroneously, to be ‘posh’, avoid cruel irony by not allowing your husband to employ an attractive Spanish PA who actually IS a bit posh.

3) If you’re dating Brad Pitt, under no circumstances allow him to play Tomb Raider. (It’s also probably a good idea to hide his copy of Mario Brothers in case he bums Bob Hoskins.)

4) To avoid having your nose rubbed in it when your partner inevitably cheats on you, don’t go around telling Hello! magazine you’ve got ‘the perfect showbiz marriage’. Instead tell them: ‘Frankly it’s just a matter of time before Jude/Brad/David dips his nib in some little whore.’

5) If your partner cheats on you, take it as a perfect opportunity to get out of doing that Shakespeare play you didn’t bother to learn your lines for.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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