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Please, Miss

5 August 2005

Sandra Geisel teaches English at the Christian Brothers Academy in New York. Or rather she used to till she became the latest in an increasingly long line of female teachers who seem to be falling foul of the perilously-thin line between educator and fuck-buddy. Police happened upon Geisel making whoopee in the
back of a car with a student in June. She was promptly fired. Fortunately, that student was 17 years old so no arrest was made. Unfortunately, Sandra Geisel - or 'Mrs Geisel' as she was known to her lovers - had not exactly been a one-student woman. The investigation which followed, and indeed continues, has so far thrown up another unnamed student. Referring to him as the unnamed student or the boy in question is going to get a little tedious, so with that in mind, let's call him Lucky. Lucky is 16. Unluckily for Mrs Geisel, Lucky was only 15 when he got lucky, twice, back in May. Mrs Geisel, by the way, is 42. But she looks damn fine on it.

With investigators hot on her tail and situations beginning to awfully sticky, Mrs Geisel turned herself over to the authorities on Monday. She has since been arraigned on felony charges, including two counts of second-degree rape and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child. Which makes you think. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe for you it's an open and shut case. The boy was underage. He was a child. He may have had a cock like Moses, a sexual appetite like Zeus and a desire to pork his English teacher which was greater than anything else in his life so far, but the law says he was a child, so it's rape. And Mrs Geisel, described by students, particularly male students, as 'an immensely popular teacher', is a rapist. Meh.

In Lucky's deposition, he tells of other students Mrs Geisel had quite literally taken a shine to. On one occasion he claims that he 'probably switched off with her 3 or 4 times'. We don't know what this means, but we know there no resistance on his part. A friend of Lucky's tells of how Mrs Geisel had pursued the boy, and eventually invited him back to her house, where he 'was gone
for an hour and when he came back he had a big smile on his face and said that he just fucked the teacher'.

Of course it's very easy, perhaps especially for the men amongst you, to scoff at the idea of any actual abuse going on in these cases, to assume that there is nothing that the great majority of teenage boys crave more than a sexual relationship with one of their teachers, but until it's actually happened to you - until you've actually felt the fingers of that mature, experienced woman slowly rubbing at your crotch and undoing your flies; until you've felt the burning breath of that teacher you've always fancied on your nether regions, you have no idea what it's really like. You can only dream. Go on. Dream. No-one's watching.

Mrs Geisel now faces between one and four years in prison for each underage hump she is found guilty of. Which, frankly speaking, is fucking stupid. Jeez Louise, what is wrong with these people? A couple of kids get their jollies and an ageing separated singleton gets to enjoy a bit of thoughtless sewing
machine sex again. Everyone a winner! No-one was abused, no-one's life was ruined; just a little bit of perfectly natural extra-curricular activity. Until the law turned up to make everything right and proper. Now everybody loses. Except maybe the men-children, who'll probably be able to sell their stories when Mrs
Geisel is weeping in her cell.

What a lot of cock and balls about nothing. It wasn't rape. It was sex with a young person. The law is a short-sighted, inflexible ass. And Miss Lynne, if you happen to be reading this, it's never, never too late.

Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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