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Home > Politics

The TFT Guide To... Royal Spats

This week, Education Minister Charles Clarke breached a longstanding protocol by publicly criticising Prince Charles during a Radio 4 interview. But this isn't the first time a barney between ministers and the royals has gone public...

19 November 2004

1) In 1940 the young Queen Mum got into a bit of hot water during an air-raid. Ensconced at Buckingham Palace with various dignitaries as bombs rained down over London, she cheekily poked Winston Churchill in the gut and asked him, rhetorically, who it was that had eaten all of the pies. The then Prime Minister responded with his famous razor-sharp wit, calling her Majesty a 'slag' and stubbing out his cigar on her favourite corgi.

2) In 1989 Jeffrey Archer claimed that he had once paid Princess Diana for sex. Archer later was forced to admit that he had been tricked by a palace aide and that the encounter had actually been between himself and a young Prince Edward. Archer took revenge by writing a really bad love story about a pretty young royal who gives birth to a ginger bastard.

3) Princess Anne once became involved in a vicious catfight with Edwina Currie over who was prettiest. The matter was only resolved when John Major declared that, although the princess was technically prettier, Edwina's predilection for the tradesman's entrance just managed to pip Anne at the post.

4) In 1864 Prince Albert was so infuriated on discovering Gladstone and Disraeli pleasuring themselves outside Queen Victoria's Gilded Carriage as he and his queen regally romped inside that he made them wander naked around Hyde Park in the dead of winter until their 'lust was all withered away'.

5) On the day of Diana Princess Of Wales' funeral, John Prescott punched Prince William in the balls and laughed.

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