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Home > Politics

Blunkett Coverage

4 December 2004

In yesterday's Guardian, Jackie Ashley stated that 'no-one can say [David Blunkett] has behaved hypocritically'. What rot. Anyone can. All one has to do is remember his words in September of 1999 when he decided that what the national curriculum needed was a good dose of traditional family values.

He declared that our country's schoolchildren must be taught the supreme value of the 'commitment that is made by people through marriage'. He argued that an untainted marriage was the very best way to bring 'stability to children'. He lamented the fact that there were 'all sorts of problems arising because of the lack of role models'. He admitted that ideals go wrong, but he was determined that we could do better. 'Let's try and get it right for the next generation,' he said. Eek! Now the next generation is gestating in Mrs Kimberley Quinn and Blunkett is determined to discover if his own DNA is swimming around in there too. So much for the sanctity of marriage.

But you know, we all make mistakes. Surely anyone - even a high-ranking holier-than-thou short-tempered power-crazed bully-politician - can be forgiven for allowing his carnal desire to outweigh his much-vaunted sense of moral integrity. Besides which, we don't pay him to be Jesus Christ. He isn't perfect.
Neither should we expect him to be. Neither however, do we pay him to chauffeur his bits of fluff around the country or give them train tickets that we bought for him in good faith. (And paying for the train ticket after it's all come to light is fooling no-one. It's rather like a shoplifter offering to pay the store detective after being apprehended with a pocketful of Mars bars halfway down the street.)

What then is the upshot of all these rather pathetic shenanigans? Obviously if Bill Clinton wasn't forced to resign for splashing his semen around the White House like cheap champagne, then there was never any question that Blunkett should be forced out for what was after all a serious, long-term, albeit treacherous and
adulterous, relationship. But what about the petty crime? Do we care that the minister charged with taking care of crime and security is a barefaced rule-bending lothario? Well, probably not. It's not that big of a deal after all. There are surely much larger issues on which we can indict the fucker. For if we don't pay him to sleep around, fiddle his expenses and fix visas for his mistress's servants, then we sure as heck don't pay him to trample all over our civil liberties like a mad, desperate alcoholic in a room full of grapes.

Why, only last week, he let it be known that holding terror suspects indefinitely without trial is not really good enough for him - now he wants to ensure a decent result when they finally do go to trial by abolishing juries altogether. Then earlier this week there was the Identity Cards Bill or the Ihre Papiere, Bitte Bill as it is commonly known, with the news that anyone who moves house without informing the government may be fined 1000 and anyone caught without the necessary paperwork 2,500.

So yeah, in light of this kind of nonsense, whatever it takes - train tickets, fast-tracked visas, whatever - let's just get the fucker out of office before he starts gassing us.



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