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Home > Politics

Then By God, He Will

11 October 2005

This has not been a good week for opposition to the war in Iraq. Or indeed war in general. Yesterday Iraqi President Jalal Talabani came to Downing Street for an important meeting with Tony Blair. The two leaders stood before the assembled press. You could cut the tension with one of those Hezbollah trip wires that have started turning up in Basra. Until he opened his mouth to speak, no one had any idea what Talabani was going to say. Would he continue to support Bush and Blair, the men responsible for his cushy job? Or would he suddenly have a complete change of heart and ask them to leave? When finally he did say that 'An early pull-out would be a catastrophe for the people of Iraq and for the cause of democracy and it will be a win for terrorism', relief spread across Tony Blair's face like fresh blood leaking into a child's hat.

As if that weren't enough, the full extent of the Coalition of the Willing was today made absolutely clear. And it goes all the way to the top. Following on from a hardline speech yesterday in which Bush reminded the American people that al-Qaida are no better than Communists, come today's revelations that Bush is even closer to God than was hitherto expected.

In an upcoming BBC documentary, Nabil Shaath, a former Palestinian foreign minister reveals how during the Israeli-Palestinian summit in Egpyt in 2003, four months after the war in Iraq kicked off, President Bush explained to a Palestinian delegation something of his motivation for the war. According to Shaath:

'President Bush said to all of us: "I am driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'. And, by God, I'm gonna do it."'

Well, we always knew Bush was off his rocker, but this - if of course it is true - is something different. What we can't figure out is which is worse - that Bush believes he can hear God's voice, or that God speaks to him with such familiarity. Why, it sounds almost like a father addressing his son. 'George, go fetch me a carton of milk, would you. Oh, and end the tyranny in Iraq while you're about it. Oh, and make sure those pesky gays know just how much we disapprove of them.' Could it actually be that Bush has confused the voice of God with the voice of his own father? Could it be that Dubya thinks he's Jesus? We fear the worst.

Meanwhile, because of suspicions that Iran has been supplying detonators to insurgents in Iraq, Tony Blair has started issuing threats, making it plain that if Iran is guilty, Britain will have no choice but to defend its interests. Iran denies any involvement. Blair threatens them anyway. Thing is, it doesn't really matter what Blair says as he has no independent thought. In much the same way as Bush simply follows the word of God, Blair simply follows the word of Bush. So the question we have to ask ourselves is: what does God think about Iran? We're going out on a limb here - we reckon he isn't keen. In fact, he's probably whispering something in Dubya's ear as we speak: 'George, them there Iranians. I don't like 'em.' A watery smile creeps across Bush's face. 'Me either, Pappy. Want me to nuke 'em?'

God smiles. 'That's my boy.'

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