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Home > Politics

A Time For Total Ruthlessness

13 May 2006

Ruth Kelly is an idiot, and she should be removed from political office immediately. Does that sound harsh? It isn't. Well, maybe it is, but sadly, it's demonstrably true. We don't say she's an idiot incidentally, because she believes in God. That wouldn't be entirely fair - not entirely. Or... actually, maybe it would. Bugger, we're in two minds. We're loath to say it because frankly, it sounds discriminatory, slightly fascist. But then again... In this day and age? God? FFS. Anyway, no, Ruth Kelly is an idiot because, as her comments in an interview with Radio 5 earlier this week illustrate, she believes that homosexuality is a sin. Or at least, she isn't prepared to say that it isn't. So she's an idiot. And let's face it, something of a twat.

There are those however, who claim that Kelly's view that homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of the Lord need not interfere with her official role as Minister for Equality. Hmm. Then why not get Nick Griffin to do the job? Seriously though, what if Kelly had vacillated over the question of whether being black is a sin, or disabled, or Jewish, or Muslim or female or from the north? There would be justifiable outrage. Kelly would be accused not only of showing insurmountable prejudice, but of being a complete barking fuckwit.

In the Guardian's 'comment is free' section online (that's free as in predominantly unpaid), columnist and self-confessed long-time personal friend of the arch-Catholic, Larry Elliott asks 'Who cares what she thinks? The test is what she does.' Essentially then, it's OK to despise homosexuals in God's name, just so long as she doesn't legislate against them. He says more:

'She has always been a devout Catholic, with strong views about divorce, contraception and abortion. Although we have never talked about it, I dare say she has orthodox views about homosexuality as well. But so what?'

It's almost as if he thinks that using the word 'orthodox' makes it OK. But we know what orthodox means in this context. It means, in a nutshell, that she disdains, fears and ultimately despises homosexuality. Which means, in a nutshell, that she is a raging cerebral troglodyte who should not only be prohibited from taking any part in any form of government, but who should probably be excluded from society in general. Like a leper.

God, she gets on our nerves. On the one hand, it's her God-fearing queer-hating that rankles; on the other, it's her lack of balls. If she thinks homosexuality is a sin, she should have the strength of her convictions and go out of her way to stamp it out. It's a sin. An offence to God. However, if she promises not to bring her beliefs to bear in her work for the government, then she's a weak-willed two-faced sack of short-sighted shit. Either way, she's not the kind of woman who we should have as our new Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government.

We mustn't forget of course, that New Labour's record on gay issues has been one of the very few genuine successes of their time in power - the equalising of the gay age of consent and the introduction of civil partnerships alone are more than most people would have dared hope for. However, we know that this had nothing whatsoever to do with Ruth Kelly, who has consistently refused to vote on any issue which might fly in the face of her unwavering God-given hatred of all things homo.

'I passionately believe there should not be discrimination,' she told Radio 5. No, there shouldn't, Ruth, but there clearly is. After all, that's what being a devout Catholic and Opus Dei member is all about.

Idiot.



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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