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Home > Politics

Pot Kettle Crap

18 August 2006

John Prescott is amazing. Not in a good way, just in the sense that he never fails to amaze. Who but the Deputy Prime Minister could call George Bush 'crap' and manage to look like a twat for saying it?

It's hard to deny that tacitly supporting the indiscriminate slaughter of Lebanese civilians might not be the best way to convince people that you genuinely want peace, but while Labour MPs praised Prescott's 'direct' and 'no-nonsense' approach, the remark really just serves to underline what a pillock Prescott is.

Maybe we're making too much of this, but Prescott is a bit more calculating than his angry-lardarse-buffoon exterior might suggest. He seems to sincerely think that his just-off-the-ferry, Northern, working-class schtick endears him to people, and this 'straight-talking' rubbish he comes out with time after time is part of the act.

Someone should point out to Prescott that the professional Northerner thing got tired a long time ago. In fact, it's hard to think of many groups in society that are more despised than professional Northerners, save perhaps paedophiles and professional Scousers. (You'll pay for 'Bread' one day, Carla Lane. You'll pay.)

It's also inappropriate on oh-so-many levels. From a purely professional point of view it's a fucking nuisance for Tony Blair, who's already in a very tricky situation politically because of his relationship with Bush. From a personal point of view it makes Prezza look like the arrogant twat he is, because, in classic Prescott style, he denied making the comment, despite overwhelming evidence that he did, including Labour MP Harry Cohen confirming it on Radio 5 Live, and a perfectly plausible bit of eavesdropping from Iain Dale here.

But worst of all, it makes Bush sound like an inept amateur five-a-side football player who's just missed an open goal, not the dead-eyed, delusional warmonger he is. It's not endearingly honest or open, it's just a bit... crap.

Sadly, although Prescott's days are quite clearly numbered, we've got a feeling it won't be the last bit of contrived Northern rubbish we hear from him. Let's just hope he doesn't feel the need to voice an opinion on any of the following topics...

The invasion of Lebanon: 'Blimmin' awful. A reet booger fut Lebanese.'

The airline bomb plotters: 'Daft apeths, the lot of 'em. Eeh, I'd like to take 'em round back of Rochdale Working Men's Club and bang their 'eads together!'

The Holocaust: 'A bloody big buggering arse-up. Yafta feel fut Jews. Eh oop.'

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