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Home > Politics

WAWIBF... Law and Order

26 January 2007

Obviously some crimes are more serious than others. Genocide for example, raises more eyebrows than smoking the odd joint or (even) downloading Mariah Carey songs from Kazaa. Similarly, arson is more frowned upon than not paying your TV licence, and singing in the bath is far more injurious to society than watching child pornography. But only if you're singing Gary Glitter songs apparently. Actually, hold on... we may just have become slightly confused. But then these are mighty confusing times.

This week the Home Office sent a directive to magistrates and the police urging them to hold back on custodial sentences, except when absolutely necessary. Within hours it seems, half of Britain went on a gun-fuelled paedo rampage, with filthy nonces given carte blanche to defile, and robberies hitting an all-time high. And it's all John Reid's fault for not building more prisons. Meanwhile mother of two Caroline Bishop has been given an ASBO for intimidating her neighbours in Lincolnshire. Most of the press coverage has centred on the fact that part of the intimidation consisted of singing Gary Glitter songs in the bath. According to the terms of the ASBO, if Caroline Bishop continues to belt out paedo pop at bathtime, she may face five years in jail, whereas if Glitter himself were caught with images of children on his computer in the current sentencing climate, he might just get a suspended sentence.

Kidscape spokesperson, Michele Elliott, told the press: 'This sends a message that child pornography is not considered a serious offence.'

Meanwhile head of the Youth Justice Board of England and Wales, Rod Morgan, has quit because youth prisons are 'swamped' by youth offenders.

So John Reid is left in a very tricky position. Either he comes up with a deeply dodgy solution in which child pornographers and youth offenders are forced to share a cell, or he ums and ahs for a couple of weeks before finally being replaced by another fucking idiot who hasn't a clue what to do.

Our money's on the latter.

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