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Home > War On Terror

Homeland Watch #2

This morning, class, we shall be finding out all about 'weapons grade plutonium'. Now then, does anyone know what weapons grade plutonium look like? James...?

31 July 2003

Fear them. Weapons of Mass Destruction are everywhere. If you think there are weapons of mass destruction in your house, follow this simple four step protocol:

1) Damp a towel and wrap it around your head. 2) Look under your bed. This is the first place an enemy would put them. 3) Tell your neighbours. 4) Walk calmly and slowly to the nearest underground military base and then bang on the door screaming and crying until they let you in.

The terrible reality is that the fear of WMD has entered the public consciousness of America to such an extent that you can now study them at college. The enemy is everywhere, and it is important to know thine enemy…

Story from MySanAntonio:

"Homeland security is making its debut at the collegiate level next month in San Antonio, when St. Philip's College will begin offering courses dealing with homeland defense and anti-terrorism preparedness... The program at St. Philips will offer 60 eight-hour courses and six certificate programs. The first segment, from Aug. 18 through Aug. 29, will focus on weapons of mass destruction."

Okay class, for homework, I'd like you all to go away and find a weapon of mass destruction. Next week, we'll be focusing on Arabs. How do you spot one in a crowd?



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