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Home > War On Terror

War On Tigers: Update

When it comes to tigers, there's only one reality:
it's them or us.

14 November 2003

You may have heard our clarion call to Declare War On The Tigers. A tiger in Baghdad Zoo viciously scratched an innocent American soldier who had gamely drunk a few suds and decided to show off to his mates by sauntering into the animal's cage. Happily that particular tiger - a rare Bengali one - was shot dead.

And then the tigers retaliated with their attack on Roy Horn. Where next? It's time for the Americans to kick some serious Panthera Tigris buttski. As chance would have it, the main Tiger Story in this week's news comes from Iran. The newspaper Jomhuri-Eslami is reporting that a woman who insulted Islam during Ramadan was being vilified in the city of Qom. Various hotheads insisted that Allah was going to give her the head of a tiger, and distributed leaflets saying that the tigress-woman hybrid would be hanged at such-and-such a time, with the ensuing riot and police action characteristic of any country where people are
bored, i.e. anywhere.

The most important thing is, then: what does this mean for the War On Tigers? The tiger was anti-Islam. The tiger's would-be assailants were Iranian. With Bush making sounds about Iran's nuclear capabilities and taking 'appropriate action', this is a smart move on the part of Khamenei - to show that Iran is a
modern, responsible nation and as capable of dealing with the tiger menace as her Western would-be occupiers. Maybe this will be the last time we hear of the Qom now, rather than 'nine British troops were killed as the result of a firebomb in downtown Qom, believed to have been launched by Al-Qaida'.

The cunning dervishes.

More on the War On Tigers:




Tigers terrifying New Jersey:


Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

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